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I originally drafted this post in April and talked about how my daughter and I had a new morning ritual of going outside in the morning to let our dog out. Our cottage is on a lake so it was a chance to start the day appreciating nature and the stillness stage we were in. It was a new and simple bright spot to our day amidst all the change we didn’t have control of.

We moved up to our cottage because we felt like it was a safer option for our family. It’s very isolated and we have much more room for our children to play. I remember feeling like I couldn’t breathe in the city and that I needed to find a way to get this knot out of my chest. As soon as we got to the cottage it was gone. I felt great. But now the knot is back and for a different reason: the Black Lives Movement.

If you’re on instagram you’ll know that this has been a tumultuous couple of weeks. Our world has erupted in outrage. There have been world-wide protests (quite rightly), videos of Black people educating us, demands to redistribute exorbitant police budgets to community services, the upheaval of corporations’ CEO’s in effort to rid companies of the systemic racism they’re infected with, and the call for white people to recognize their privilege and use their voice for good. I’m not an amazing writer so you won’t find anything profound here but this is a call for everything to truly change. I was recently inspired by Alana Cloud-Robinson’s words in her interview with Christy Dawn (she’s head of customer service). She explains what I’m feeling and the change that is happening so well:

“The shedding of a snake’s skin is not always swift, it’s an uncomfortable process that takes time. It begins with the slowing of their movements, a shift in their behavior and energy followed by the dulling of their skin. Their eyes become glazed and milky, lack of vision produces aggression and fear as they enter their own chrysalis of sorts. The main event⁣ of molting takes time, energy and patience as the snake breaks free from the old and emerges, born anew. I’ve watched this process time and time again throughout my life, this experience of a sort of death and renewal and I believe this is exactly what is happening now in the world around us.⁣

We seek justice, change, abolition, recreation and renewal in so many forms and this process of transformation has been painful. Many feel fearful, angry, confused or even lost, but the old ways must be shed in order to make way for something hopeful that looks at itself with honesty and truth. Change isn’t always easy, it doesn’t always feel good in the moment, but once liberated from these systems that do not serve us, that have tried to oppress, silence and remove us from the fabric of existence, we will all know freedom.” – A.C. Robinson

The knot I’m feeling is this change. It’s the death and renewal our world needs. It’s trying to figure out what our new normal is.

We are entering summer with hope, as our cities and towns start to open up safely after Covid-19 and we see that tiny sliver of the lives we used to live. We will read our new books on racism, learn the true racist history of the country we reside in, practice anti-racism, open our eyes to what is really happening, and find where we can use our own voice, money and skills to make changes. Let’s shed our skin and get back to a good new normal.

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Outfit Details*

Jacket (Similar) | Dress (similar) and (similar) | Boots | Necklace

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All photography done (pre-isolation) by Bear & Sparrow

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